Roanoke Valley Montessori School

We are dedicated to educating parents as well as our students.  We will post information on topics to educate parents that will be consistant with your child's school environment.

As you read the following you will see how you are teaching your child that there is a natural consequence to all behavior. This will instill the respect and good values you are looking for in your child. You will begin to understand how proper discipline and guidance will allow your child to grow into an outstanding young man or woman. This will allow them to live life to its fullest potential.

Whatever the age of your child, it's important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. If you don't stick to the rules and consequences that you set up, your child isn't likely to either.

Here are some ideas about how to vary your approach to discipline to best fit your family.

Babies and toddlers are naturally curious. So it's wise to eliminate temptations and no-no — items such as VCRs, stereos, jewelry, and especially cleaning supplies and medications should be kept well out of reach. When your crawling baby or roving toddler heads toward an unacceptable or dangerous play object, calmly say "No" or “No sir/mam” and either remove your child from the area or distract him or her with an appropriate activity. Babies and toddlers are naturally curious. So it's wise to eliminate temptations. Timeouts are an effective discipline for toddlers. A child who has been hitting, biting, or out of control, for example, should be told why that behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair, bottom stair, even a taped off square on the floor — for a minute or two to calm down (longer timeouts are not effective for toddlers).

And don't forget that children learn by watching adults, particularly their parents. Make sure your behavior is role-model material.

As your child begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences, make sure you start communicating the rules of your family's home. Explain to kids what you expect of them before you punish them for a certain behavior. For instance, the first time your 3-year-old uses crayons to decorate the living room wall, discuss why that's not allowed and what will happen if your child does it again (for instance, your child will have to help clean the wall and will not be able to use the crayons for the rest of the day). If the wall gets decorated again a few days later, issue a reminder that crayons are for paper only and then enforce the consequences.

The earlier that parents establish this kind of "I set the rules and you're expected to listen or accept the consequences" standard, the better for everyone. Although it's sometimes easier for parents to ignore occasional bad behavior or not follow through on some threatened punishment, this sets a bad precedent. Consistency is the key to effective discipline.

While you become clear on what behaviors will be punished, don't forget to reward good behaviors. Don't underestimate the positive effect that your praise can have, discipline is not just about punishment but also about recognizing good behavior. Just by saying "I'm proud of you for sharing your toys" or even "Great job!" Do not underestimate the power of positive reinforcement.

Try making a chart with a box for each day of the week. Decide what earns a reward and what deserves a punishment, maybe keeping their room clean or cleaning up after themselves at dinner earn a star and going outside by themselves or telling Mom or Dad, “No”, when asked to do something loses a star. Post the chart on the refrigerator and then track the good and bad behaviors every day. This will give your child (and you) a concrete look at how it's going. Once this begins to work, praise your child for learning to control. Do not stop using the chart even if their behavior has become consistently good. You must also not slack on keeping up with the chart. Talk about the chart and let the child know when something is going on with the chart.

It's important to tell kids what the right thing to do is, not just to say what the wrong thing is. For example, instead of saying “No running or yelling in the house”, say, “Please use your walking feet or your inside voice”.